


the integrity of multiples

by figmentof



Category: Person of Interest (TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Multiple Personalities, POV Second Person, Possibly AU, Work In Progress, potential canon divergence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-21
Updated: 2015-01-21
Packaged: 2018-03-08 13:22:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3210638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/figmentof/pseuds/figmentof
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>John Reese doesn’t break down the walls you so arduously placed yourself behind. He’s meant to be destructive, intrusive and unwelcome as he shoves himself into your vision. Instead he just stands there, doesn’t demand attention and your fortified walls dissolve around him and suddenly he’s inside parts of you he shouldn’t be.</i>
</p><p>Harold deals with falling for John; every part of it lays him so naked and bare he doesn’t know what to do. <b>WIP.</b></p>
            </blockquote>





	the integrity of multiples

It’s a coexistence, you and your personas. They follow by your rules and you let them live their life in ways they see fit. Nothing really mattered, they grew under the lights while you stayed in the shadows, content with the status quo.

And things would’ve stayed the way they were, you would’ve been fine. Probably had a chance at a semi-normal life, as much as the pretense sounds impossible to you now.

Then Nathan died, and you feel your world throw you off balance for the second time after you lost your father. Nothing should throw you off balance, worst yet, nothing you ever did made you feel guilty; the chessboard never surprises you with any unpredicted moves, giving you no chance to feel remorse. But this launched itself at you and swiped the board clean, you have no game to play when you’ve lost all your pieces.

It’s not that you didn’t care, you did, too much actually— which hurts you because you’re exposed, prone to weakness, and you can’t play this game if you have your jugular stretched out for your enemies to bite into. Nathan knew that; Nathan knew you too well, and somewhere deep inside you’re glad he’s not alive to witness your pain and grief and your reluctant awareness that perhaps you were wrong.

Nathan would’ve laughed, humorlessly, and said, “It’s okay, Harold.”

•

Nathan starts to talk in your head with your voice. It’s small and fluttering and you needed to grasp at it to pin down the floating intent behind each phrase. After a while the voice settles, coming to rest inside a cage; you decide to name it Finch.

Finch, like many others, starts taking up responsibilities of his own, he picks up where Nathan left off with more care and finesse than is necessary and finds some ex-Special Forces brute by the name of Dillinger to do what he can’t. Finch tries to fit into his newly acquired skin, on top of nursing your injuries; yet he’s not prepared, in the midst of figuring out how to maneuver around being more efficient, Dillinger betrays him and you could almost feel Finch’s anguish and despair.

Finch is feeble; he’s had no time to grow before being dumped into something that was way beyond his control. You intervene, just for a while, letting his mind solidify into something more than just kind thought and shallow practices. You fortify your system better, adding more precautionary measures to it and the physical hideout of the library, then you let Finch out again. He tries his best to work a few cases alone, his belief still bruised by betrayal, and loses more numbers than his conscience could handle.

In an act of trying to help, The Machine leads him to the hospital, and he runs into John Reese.

His hushed “I’m so sorry” is filled with a little too much emotion as Reese stumbles lifelessly across the halls. A couple weeks (and a desperate measure of tying the man to a bed) later, Finch has Reese working for him.

You only hope that Finch’s resolve has toughened since last. John Reese, regardless of what his file says, isn’t someone that should be trusted entirely if at all.

•

It’s not for your approval or within your control, but the isolation would’ve lead up to this. Finch and Reese bond, they become friends, and the happiness developing in Finch accidentally extends to you through the cracks you failed to patch up. Finch follows your rules, refrains from talking too much about himself or you, or anything that you found was not mandatory knowledge for Reese.

Yet Reese pries, he teasingly nudges at Finch and it’s in Finch’s nature to play along. You watch them grow closer; and after a few half hearted attempts, Reese stops prying. It astonishes you that Reese cares more about Finch than he does of uncovering secrets. People like him tend to obsess over sinking their teeth into the flesh until they reach the bone, yet Reese merely prods, ruffles Finch’s feathers just enough to get him alert and on his toes.

You would’ve seen Carter’s betrayal coming, she’s honest by default, but Finch must’ve forgotten how dedicated she is to her job. Reese calls him and thanks him for giving him a job and Finch speeds past three stoplights to reach him.

Finch’s pulse is racing when Reese collapses, bracing an arm over his shoulder; and you feel the same amount of relief as Finch when Carter lets them go.

•

Finch buys Reese a fully furnished million dollar loft. He doesn’t even bother to disguise the fact that it has less to do with distracting Reese from the number and more to do with his personal desire to lavish Reese with something he deserves on his birthday.

It’s a bold move, but who are you judge. Harold Martin proposed to Grace Hendricks in the middle of a park; and while you’re never one for public displays of affection, you understand the notion behind them. Though Finch’s behavior recently is causing you remind yourself a little too frequently that your personas aren’t you— he hadn’t broken any rules, he wouldn’t, no matter what foreign emotions he’s starting to feel. 

Besides, giving Reese a gift brings you a slight possessive thrill.

•

You, along with Finch, get kidnapped by Caroline Turing, or Root, as she likes to call herself. Finch is terrified, so you emerge, and she knows, knows of you and it irritates you like an itch you can’t scratch. She looks through you and smiles and talks about setting The Machine free, and you can’t help but wish she’d shoot you right then and there. Despite the laborious effort to accomplish something you saw coming ages ago, you can’t help but appreciate her talent of drawing you out in the way that she did, her convincing bait as a therapist fooled you completely. So you grant her the truths about locking away The Machine, because after all, you’re more alike than different. The admission leaves a revoltingly bad taste in your mouth.

Reese decodes your message and comes to save you— no, in the last second your drug-addled mind corrects itself: comes to save Finch. He doesn’t know about you, he doesn’t need to, _he shouldn’t_.

Later, after Root calls, Reese wordlessly steers Finch towards the bathroom in the back room. He hands Finch a towel before turning around to give him privacy.

“Stay with me, please.” Finch breathes weakly.

Reese gives him a small, comforting smile. “Of course.”

Finch's hands stop shaking when he closes the door. He presses his fist to his chest, and for the first time in a long time, the loud thumping of his heart reverberates through and you feel your heart ache like it did when you kissed goodbye the shell of what your father used to be.

**Author's Note:**

> The POV of Harold in this fic is from my personal headcanon of [core!Harold](http://figmentof.tumblr.com/post/83660383573/whats-core-harold). He's not for everyone, but he's incredibly compelling to me since I always see bits of him in nearly every episode of this show. I normally refuse to post WIP's but this has been sitting in my hard drive for forever, I thought maybe it would give me a boost of motivation to restart it again if I made it public.
> 
> FYI: this isn't going to be multi-chaptered, I'll (hopefully) be adding more content, just using the function so this doesn't show up as "completed".


End file.
